Tuesday, November 26, 2002


You know, Bazooka bubblegum has little fortunes on the comics, like fortune cookies. Mine was “Ideas don’t work unless you do.” Bennett’s was “People who know the least argue the most.”

I think they were backwards.

Friday was Bazooka Day in Torts class, which we didn’t know about till we got there. The professor passed around a carton of Bazooka for all eighty of us and told us the story of how he decided to become a lawyer.

When he was in eighth grade he had a paper route, and he loved to buy Bazooka bubblegum with his earnings. One day in class, his eighth grade teacher told him he couldn’t chew bubblegum in class, because he didn’t have enough for everyone.

“This,” he tells us gravely, “was a problem I knew how to fix.” So he bought a carton of Bazooka, which cost him about twenty dollars. The next day at school before class he began to hand out bubblegum to all of the other students. The teacher confiscated his bubblegum and sent him to the principal’s office.

“So that day,” intones Professor Torts, “I decided to become a lawyer, to fight this kind of injustice wherever it occurs and make sure nothing like that ever happens again. So once every year I bring Bazooka and have my whole class chew it, to celebrate becoming a lawyer and my own triumph over injustice.”

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