AND FROM THE LILEKS ARCHIVE:

"And speaking of that, there’s an odd sound coming from the utility pole outside. It screeches. It screeches like a raccoon who got his tail caught in a modem. It’s the damndest sound, and I’ve no idea what it is - the pole carries everything, so I can’t narrow it down. But sure enough the pole screams like the damned bouncing around in the Tabasco Sitz-Bath of Hell

(sorry.)

and I don’t know what it means. I hate to call the phone company and tell them that their poles are talking to me. Jasper heard it too - his gigantic ears - the family DEW - unfurled and whirled around to fix the location, and then he just stared, unblinking, at the pole. Perhaps it’s all accumulated conversation. Perhaps it’s just misheard syllables, excess conjunctions, random words that didn’t get transmitted. They build up from time to time. You need to call the phono-rooter man; he’ll shimmy up and run a snake through the cable, suck all the words into a gigantic tank and dispose of them for you.

I guess they sell them to C-SPAN, and they get a nice recycling credit to boot."

From the Contracts book:

 “The Discretion Of A Judge Is The Law Of Tyrants; It Is Always Unknown; It Is Different In Different Men; It Is Casual And Depends Upon Constitution, Temper, And Passion. In The Best It Is Oftentimes Caprice; In The Worst It Is Every Vice, Folly And Passion To Which Human Nature Is Liable.”

The quote is attributed to one Lord Camden, who was apparently a great English judge. (If you want to know why Lord Camden is so important as to be quoted in the Contracts book, you're going to have to read that treatise yourself. I have to study for exams.)

TIME FOR A QUICKIE

And boy, is it. Unfortunately, this time I just mean a quit little blog, more like a blurt. I feel guilty for not posting yesterday, but whachagonnado? I left school on the 11:40 shuttle, just had time to drop my computer off at home, grab some cash, and catch the bus to McDonald's to pick up Stephanie's car, which I then drove to the airport to pick Mom up. The day was clear and gorgeous, Mt. Hood is a sparkling beauty in the distance and for the first time I realized you can see Mt. St. Helens from Portland, too. I've never seen it before because I've never been on the East side on a clear day, apparently. It's very distinctive: only mountain I've ever seen that's all scooped out on top. (Because it erupted back in 1980, when we were living in Washington. Here, before and after.) In fact, covered with snow it looks like a bowl of ice cream missing the top scoop.

But anyway, I picked mom up at the airport -- which incidentally, is lovely. It comes off as clean, friendly and organized, and that's a new airport experience for me. From the top of the parking garage, there is an excellent view of the Cascades in the distance (including the two volcanoes). We went downtown and looked around at the shopping, but I told her she couldn't buy anything until she went to the Market this weekend. We went to the Pilsner Room for happy hour specials, and dined on hummus and coconut shrimp, and great microbrews. By then we were both wiped out, so I took her home and got her settled in and we pretty much just went to bed last night.

Today Stephanie has custody until 3, when she goes to work. I told Mom she could expect me home on the 5:30 shuttle; my classes end at 3:30 today but I need to get that damned memo FINISHED and off my agenda so I can seriously get down to finals. I have all my reading done for tomorrow and the beginning of next week, so this weekend will be devoted to the Torts negligence essay and getting ConLaw in some sort of order for studying.

Ta ta!

THIS MORNING IN PORTLAND

There was a dense, eerie fog hanging all over Southwest Portland, and the moon was full and still up when I left the house at 6:30 this morning. It was gorgeous, I felt like I had stepped into a Sherlock Holmes story. The weather is perfect, wet and cool but beautiful. It's a beautiful day. I think part of what has been throwing me off is that I've been coming to school at 8 instead of 7. It's nice to be back in the routine.

THE LONG DAY IS OVER:

That's a Norah Jones song which began piping out of my headphones right as I finished reading my Torts assignment for tomorrow: Six p.m., three long classes today and two and a half hours spent on my memo. Another hour and a half on Torts, and the long day is over.
Except that now I get to go home and clean, do laundry and prepare for the Arrival of the Matriarch. Oh yeah, and maybe I should eat something. I had an apple today for breakfast, and found a beat-up old orange in the bottom of my locker for lunch. So I'm home for homemade Pad Thai, a little t.v. and a lot of domesticity.
Goodnight, cruel world.

THE PROUD RETURN OF THE MONDAY MISSION!

1. When I was a teenager, I used to ride all the "spin-y" rides at the fair and fun parks. I'd never get dizzy or sick, and I could ride them all day. My favorite was the Tilt-A-Whirl. Now I should call it the "Tilt-A-Hurl" because it seems I can't even get on a Merry-Go-Round without feeling queasy. Is there anything you used to be able to do physically that you no longer can? What changed?

I used to be able to eat those marshmellow circus peanuts when I was a kid, but now the mere sight of them makes me queasy. It could have a little something to do with a bad experience I had one night at a circus in Seattle...

2. If you could go to lunch with someone famous, anyone living or dead, who would you choose? What questions would you ask them?

I'd definitely go to lunch with Jesus, and I'd want to hear the whole story, firsthand...so, Jesus, tell me about the tomb? Where were you when you were dead, did you go to heaven or were you just hanging out in the tomb? When did you first know you were the Son of God?

3. On that same thought, there are probably several Bloggers you enjoy reading but have never met in real life. Which one Blogger would you most like to meet for dinner? Why did you pick that person? What would you talk about? What do you have in common? What would you do after dinner?

James Lileks, definitely. I just think I'd like him the most. We'd talk about pizza and The Sopranos and cute baby tricks, and after dinner we'd both leave.

4. Money (or the lack thereof) is the number one cause of arguments amongst couples. Do you find this to be true? If there really was a "Money Tree" you could go an pick, would this really solve a couple's problems?

Money is not the problem between most couples. The real issue is control, so a money tree wouldn't help. They'd argue about when the money was ripe and could be picked.

5. Speaking of arguments, have you ever been drawn into any nasty, hateful arguments? The kind where hurtful things were said that had nothing to do with the fight at hand? What was that all about? How did it turn out?

I try not to get into those arguments. I usually just stop talking if it's getting ugly.

6. When was the last time you had to admit you were wrong about something? How did that go?

Law school is a humbling experience. Yesterday I had to admit I was wrong about something, right in front of my entire Civil Procedure class. However, since I have CivPro twice a week it's getting to be a familiar experience, so it's no longer that traumatic.

7. Now for a slight change of theme....what song should never have been written?

That "Ironic" song. If she actually knew what the word meant, she'd never have written that stupid song.

OH, MAN, I'M SCREWED NOW.

I just had my meeting with my Legal Writing professor about Memo #3: The Final Frontier. And apparently, judging from what she told me, I need to go all the way back to the beginning (the research portion of the program) and start all over. I need more Law, more Convincing Arguments, more Precedent, more everything. And she brought up points I hadn't considered, and said I should argue them too. All in 8-10 pages.
Okay, I will. But when? I've been devoting every spare minute of study time I've had for the last three weeks to reviewing for exams. The memo is due next Wednesday; that means I have this weekend's study time to work on it and any spare minutes I can squeeze out during the days. Fun, fun, fun. Can't wait until Legal Writing is over.
Until next semester, anyway.
Also for my enjoyment, I found out three interesting little facts this morning:
1. The average score last year on the first semester Civil Procedure exam was 35%.*
2. Sometimes (for fun) they throw in questions about things we haven't studied yet.
3. The exam grades don't come back until mid-February.
Welcome to law school, where the fun never ends!
*Did you get that? Only 35% of the questions were answered correctly, on average. That means half the class didn't even answer 35%.